August/September Newsletter
Thanks so much for thinking of us here and praying for us!
How are we? A missionary asked me that question the other day and I said, "Divorce is never an option." He knew what I meant, having lived here longer. It is hard adjusting in many areas, but we are trusting God, our Fountain of Living Water, the Source of all we need to be like Him and accomplish what He purposes.
We're very grateful that Elijah and Esther have made friends here among the missionary community. It is a little harder to establish African friends with language and cultural differences. Each week the missionary kids join together for a Bible study time that is encouraging for them. Several weeks ago Elijah asked me (Daniel, Elijah’s proud Daddy) to help him put together some things he wanted to share with the youth from the Bible and life. We worked on it together and Esther reported that God used it to spur on so much good conversation that they didn’t have much time for games afterward. They really enjoyed their trip to Beira and worked very hard with the group putting up a church structure. Thank you so much for your prayers as God protected them when on the ride home the Land Rover Elijah was riding in went off the road at a high speed and was miraculously spared when the driver woke up from a doze and was able to navigate back onto the highway. Elijah was riding shotgun and said he was sure he was going home to be with Jesus. There were youths from 3 different families represented in the vehicle and we thank God for His mighty angels who serve Him.
Wow... What major cultural differences we are encountering! I wish I could give you a book to read that would give you a taste of it. I don't even know where to begin. It seems like every day it's something new regarding the way Africans think about God, communication, possessions, relationships, jobs, finances, conflict resolution, marriage...
Makua Marriage Culture –
Soon after puberty very commonly a girl, 14 to 16 years old, seeks to secure a guy a little older. In short, boy meets girl, boy asks girl’s parents if he can marry, they work out details. If yes, two days later the boy moves in with the girl’s family. The boy lives there until he can build a house for himself. He is on probation until a child is born. If his wife does not get pregnant after several months of marriage, the wife may be advised to divorce him for a more “fruitful” partner. The girl is instructed from her puberty initiation rites and her culture that just as a woman who is cooking puts three rocks under the pot to hold it up, so she should have three or more men in her life (to give her clothes, food, sex,…) The extreme poverty drives MANY women to prostitute themselves for food money.
During a recent Sunday meeting the church had a discussion on marriage relationships. The Makua believers explained that man treats the woman as a tool or slave. If she complains or tries to boss him around he demands, "Did you marry me? No, I went to your father and married you!" In other words, “ I got you. Now you're mine to do whatever I command ”. At the root of the marriage relationships we see a lot of insecurity, jealousy, manipulation, and fear. Most of the families still have clan property outside the city where they grow some food to supplement their poor diet. If the husband and wife travel together, the man will carry his radio while his wife carries their child wrapped with a cloth on her back, and also the hoe, the husband’s machete, and other belongings on her head. On the way back she will carry the baby on her back, the harvested food in one hand, the tools in another, and firewood on her head. (They are pro's at carrying things on their head. We see it every day.) So, while the men do work, they have no sense of compassion or real love for their wives. In fact when they "marry" the husband is not considered part of the wife's family. He is from another family and is mainly there only to bear children for the wife’s family. Usually the children take on the mother’s last name rather than their father’s. The men usually come home from work and are served their food away from their wife and children. They are very disconnected. The Good News of Jesus is here to enter into the sin and muck of their lives to restore their relationship with Him, family, and others.
September marks the beginning of the hot months here in Mozambique. It will be extremely dry until the rains start in mid to late December. For a city of over half a million, Nampula is not adequately equipped to provide for the growing demand for water. Besides, two of their four pumps are broken with no promise of being replaced. We live on a four+ acre property with three other families. It is common to daily not have water for hours at a time and the pressure isn’t strong enough many times for use of the shower, washing machine, and sometimes the bathroom sink. Elijah and a couple of his friends have started the process of digging a hole for a reservoir and we plan to have a water tower up within the next couple weeks. Please pray for us to have wisdom and lots of grace in our relationships as we deal with these types of character building events, as we tend to get stressed at times, a bit discouraged and sometimes sin by complaining. Our Lord Jesus, the Faithful One always takes care of everything and we are truly overjoyed to serve the Wonderful Master.
How can you best pray for us?
- We need wisdom to understand the Mozambicans and how to express honor to them
- Safety from thieves
-That God will somehow provide for us a long term water solution (ie, a bore well)
Rejoice with us about…
-God providing Gito to teach Melissa Portuguese a couple times a week
-Overall good health in our family and Daniel’s back is much better
-Trust that is building in Daniel’s relationship with Moniz and Antonio, Christian brothers we employ
-The gratitude of the people here as we share some food, clothing, anything with them
-Our dogs, Roxy and Tipper, that add such joy to our days! (And protect us from harm)
Love you all,
Daniel & Melissa
with Elijah & Esther
P.S. We pray for you and would love to hear how you are if you have the opportunity to write. Thanks you so much for those who have written!